Feeling Not Thinking
by heartlines
Summary: Post-The Lonely Hearts Club. It's Valentine's day and Summer's heart leads her to the person she should be spending it with. SS


Summer paced back and forth nervously in Seth's room, waiting for him to get home from wherever the hell he was. She didn't know what she was doing here. She had no idea what she hoped to accomplish by coming here tonight.

All she knew was that she was with her boyfriend, alone in a hotel room on Valentine's Day, and it was the last place in the world that she had wanted to be. So she insisted on going home, claming that she didn't feel well. And Zach being Zach agreed and drove her home. And Summer being Summer headed straight to Cohen's house as soon as Zach had left. Because not spending Valentine's Day with Cohen just didn't feel right. There is just so many things wrong with that that she doesn't even want to begin thinking about it. But the thing about being with Cohen is that it's never about thinking, it's about feeling. And that's what Summer needs to right now, to _feel._

She takes Princess Sparkle out of her purse and picks up Captain Oats from Seth's nightstand.

"Captain Oats, meet Princess Sparkle. Princess Sparkle, this is Captain Oats. Now you two can have a happy Valentine's day. At least somebody will," she sighed.

The door opened and a very tired and haggard looking Seth came in. He looked up, then did a double-take. "Summer?"

She smiled weakly. "Hey, Cohen."

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I, uh, came to give Captain Oats his Valentine's gift," she held up Captain Oats and Princess Sparkle. "I figured it was time that they finally met."

Seth stared at her for a minute and then rubbed his forehead. "Okay, I think the caffeine has gone to my head and I'm hallucinating."

Summer rolled her eyes and set down the horses on Seth's nightstand. "We need to talk, Cohen."

"I'm still not fully convinced that I'm not dreaming but yeah, sure, let's talk," he sat down on his bed.

Summer began pacing in front of him. "I don't know what I'm doing here," she admitted.

"Where's Zach?"

"In your closet," she snapped. "He's at home."

Seth nodded. "Look, Summer­­-­"

"No wait!" Summer cut in. "Don't say anything."

"Doesn't not speaking defeat the purpose of 'talking'?"

Summer ignored his sarcasm and plunged right into her Seth-like rant. "This shouldn't be happening. I shouldn't be here. It's Valentine's day and I should be spending it with my boyfriend," she rambled, more to herself than to Seth. "You and I are over. You made that painfully clear when you left. And I've moved on. There is no us anymore. And there is no love story between the Ironist and Little Vixen. None."

Seth grabbed her hand to stop her pacing, making her stand in front of him. "If that's true then why are you here?"

Summer pulled her hand away, trying to ignore the way it tingled from his touch. "I should go." She started towards the door but Seth blocked her way.

"Do you know what day it is today?"

Summer narrowed her eyes. "Duh. I know its Valentine's day."

"What else?" He pressed.

"Get out of my way, Cohen."

"It's our one year anniversary," he said softly.

Her eyes flashed. "It _would have been_ our one year anniversary. Don't talk about us in the present tense."

"It isn't over between us, you know that. I know that I screwed up. And it kills me to know that I hurt you because that's the very last thing I ever wanted to do. If I could turn back time I would, but I can't. I'm sorry, Summer. I'm really sorry," Seth gently wiped away the tears that were trickling down her cheek. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you, Summer. I know I haven't given you a lot of reasons to believe that, but I do. I love you so much. And if you can honestly tell me that you feel absolutely nothing for me anymore then I'll let you go. I won't bother you or Zach anymore. Just say the words."

Summer looked into his eyes and she knew. She knew that he was telling her the truth. She could see the sincerity and love right there in those chocolate brown depths, and she could swear she also saw fear mixed in.

She knew it shouldn't be this easy, the decision shouldn't come so naturally to her. But it did, and the next thing she knew she was kissing him. Her hands were in his hair and his arms were wrapped tightly around her, crushing her body against his. All rational thought flew out the window and it just felt so completely _right_.

"I love you too," she whispered against his lips.

Seth grinned, a full-on grin with dimples and all. The grin that Summer loved. She rested her head against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I should go," she said.

"Why?"

"Seth, I have a boyfriend."

"Oh." His face fell and he pulled away from her.

"No! That's not what I meant," she said hurriedly, taking his hands in hers. "I want this. I just…have to end things with Zach first."

Seth nodded, the look in his eyes showing that he understood. "Okay."

Summer kissed him lightly and then reached around him for the door knob but Seth once again blocked her way.

"Wait. Before you go…" He walked over to his turntable and Summer knew exactly what he was doing.

"Cohen…" She smiled.

Ryan Adams' version of Wonderwall started playing and he walked back over to her, taking her hand and pulling her into his arms. Summer sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her head on Seth's chest.

"Happy Valentine's day," he whispered in her ear.

"Happy Valentine's day," she said.


End file.
